ADHD and college can be a perilous journey far beyond what most people imagine. Even, if you don’t have ADHD, it is difficult enough to make the transition from home to a college or university.  Consequently, if you do not prepare in advance, the chances are good that you will stumble.

In this special Distraction episode on “Why College Can Be Daunting For ADHDers“  sponsored by Landmark College, Jessica McCabe from How to ADHD, shares the problems she faced  with new demands and less support in college.

How to Avoid the Dangers of College

To avoid the dangers of college, information and preparation make all the difference. First of all, parents and students should know in advance that going from home to college means going from a place of dependence and high supervision to a place of independence and low supervision. It is a jarring, albeit longed-for transition. And one that students who have ADHD are particularly ill-equipped to handle. Parents and students ought to prepare for this transition methodically, instead of simply letting the student jump into the college environment literally overnight, hoping he or she can swim.

Even if your child does not have ADHD, I recommend that you begin during senior year of high school to prepare your child for the transition to college. If your child does have ADHD, this is crucial. Once  your child gets into college, you should then assist him or her to organize and run their life. You should not stop supervising them.

Dr. Hallowell’s Top 10 Tips for Parents, Children, Teachers and Students of all ages – how to make school rewarding and successful!

Learn about Coaching for College Students.

Why you should hold onto your dreams no mater how unrealistic.

Someone asked me in a lecture I was giving the other day how she should tell her 10-year-old son that his dream of playing in the NBA is unrealistic.  I asked her why she felt she needed to tell him that. She replied that she wanted to protect him from getting disappointed when he realized that that dream could never come true.  I asked her how she knew it could never come true.  “Well, he’s white, for one thing, and he’s short for his age for another, and your average toddler is more coordinated.”

“But would it hurt him to keep believing he might play in the NBA someday?” I asked.  “After all, we allow kids to believe in Santa Claus for a long time.  We even encourage it.”

  “But this is starting to seem cruel,” she said.  “I mean when his grandfather asks him what he wants to be when he grows up, and he says a professional basketball player, and his grandfather laughs so hard his glasses fall off before he then asks him to give a serious answer, isn’t it time for me to tell him this dream is just not going to come true?”

“Well, it sounds like Grandpa already did that, didn’t he?  But if he chooses to ignore Grandpa, so what?  Life will teach him soon enough, when he tries out for whatever team he tries out for.  And who knows, maybe he’ll have a growth spurt, maybe he will become more coordinated, and being white doesn’t automatically disqualify him.”

Guiding Your Child

“But you know what I mean,” the mom replied.  “Aren’t we supposed to guide our children toward realistic dreams and protect them from crazy ones?  Isn’t that part of making sure they don’t get hurt?  What if he wanted to date a movie star?  Should I say, Ok son, go for it?”

“Why not?” I said.  “What’s he gonna do?  Send her a fan letter?  If he got a reply, which he might or might not, it would probably be a signed photo that he could put on his wall and admire all year. What’s so good about being realistic?”

“I just don’t want him to get hurt,” the mom replied.  By now the whole lecture hall was listening to our conversation, obviously interested in it, not making noises for me to move on.

This is a question that comes up all the time, not only in children who have ADHD, but in all children, and, if truth be told, in us adults as well.  How long it is healthy to hold onto your dreams that aren’t coming true?  By what age should we start to get realistic?

Never Give Up On Your Dream

My answer is you should never give up on your dream.  In fact, hold onto your dreams no matter how unrealistic.  It’s better to go to your grave with an unfulfilled dream than no dream at all.  You can feed off of that dream your whole life long.

But you also need a Plan B. My first dream career was to be a writer.  When I was in high school, I wanted to rank right up there with Dickens, Dostoyevsky, and all the greats.  When I got to college, I realized that making a living as a writer of fiction was sort of like trying to make the  NBA as a 5’6” white guy, so I needed a Plan B.  I decided being a doctor would be a good way to make a living, that would also allow me to write as well.  And that’s exactly what I’ve done.

I encourage people of all ages to hold onto dreams no matter how unrealistic.  I will die hoping to write a great novel.  Maybe I will actually do it, but on the way I’ve written some wonderful books that have helped lots of people, so my dream has served me and the world quite well.  Which is exactly what dreams are supposed to do, don’t you think?

Finding a creative outlet with the right amount of difficulty is a key component for success and happiness in life.  Click HERE to learn about the importance of creativity and finding the “right level of difficult” to engage your brain, as well as the regular adjustments

ADHD and Time Management – What is in your time bank account?

Time Management

We are all too familiar with this the term. If you are suffering with time management just recently or if it has been an issue for years, I am going to ask you to look at time through a new lens. We all have the same amount of time per day in our “time bank account. Twenty-four hours every day. Simple. What are some of the common “time overdraft” traits that are encountered?

Hyperfocus

Although this can be a very positive trait of ADHD with the increased ability to focus and get entrenched in work, hyper focusing can also act as a “time thief.” Those who hyperfocus rarely come up for air, lose track of time and ultimately miss other commitments or responsibilities. When you have established those tasks that will lead to a “hyper focusing hijacking of time,” set the timer on your smartphone so to establish a “time boundary.” This “time boundary” will allow for a much-needed break or transition to another obligation or commitment.                                                             

Blurry Schedules “Well, I’ll get to it later

• “This should only take me 10 minutes.”
• “The drive isn’t that long in rush hour traffic.”

First, we have to look at time and appreciate how long tasks actually take to be completed.  Then, take account of where your time is being spent each day. Tracking one typical work day and one “off” day is usually enough to see a pattern. By tracking where your time goes, you’ll have an increased awareness of where time is being spent. Furthermore, this will allow clarity on the length of time each task actually takes each day.

I once coached a busy mom of three children who came to me in exasperation regarding her schedule and time management issues. We did an exercise where I asked her to record frequent tasks and estimate how long she thought they took. Since there were five people in her household, she reported that grocery shopping was an all too frequent activity. She reported to me it took about 30 minutes. In fact, when she completed this exercise and actually accounted for the time, grocery shopping on average took 90 minutes!

Over a period of about three months, my client was armed with a new ability to be proactive and an increased empowerment over her sense of time. She reported feeling less frustrated and an overall reduction of stress.

The coaching process allows for a gradual change in habits with frequent check-ins, encouragement and strategies designed specifically for those with ADHD. I have also established a “coaching on demand” program to accommodate busy entrepreneurs, executives or anyone that would like more frequent communication than the traditional one hour appointment. Just another option to achieve a “balanced” time bank account with improved productivity while accommodating your busy lifestyle.

Contact Christine L. Robinson, M.Ed., Certified ADHD Coach/Educational Consultant to learn more. ~ T: 212-799-7777

Giulia Rhodes, The Guardian recently interviewed Dr. Hallowell for her her article, Mental Illness Swam In My Genes…. She asked him why he wanted to become a psychiatrist. Dr. Hallowell replied:  “I wanted to become a psychiatrist because I wanted to understand my people in particular and crazy people in general.”   The “selfish desire”, he says, was always to save his family: “There was a drive to repair families, repair my own – though it was too late for that, of course.”

Read more HERE!

Learn more about Dr. Hallowell and mental illness in his Memoir, Because I Come From A Crazy Family The Making of A Psychiatrist.

and in his blog post on “Crazy” does not equate dangerous.”

 

In this DISTRACTION Podcast S3 Ep 2, we’re doing one of my favorite things — answering YOUR questions. In our Q&A episode, you’ll learn:

* how to manage ADHD meds;
* ways to get past childhood trauma; and
* what you can do to become an ADHD coach; and more.

Sending a big thank you to everyone who submitted questions and to YOU, my loyal listeners.

If you have a question for me, please send it to: connect@distractionpodcast.com or call 844-552-6663. Thank you.

LISTEN NOW!

If you like to learn more about treating ADHD, click HERE.

Are you too busy? Stretched to the breaking point? In a state of constant frenzy? You’re not alone. In our 24/7, technology-driven world, it’s easy to lose control.

Learn How To be Cool, Calm and Collected

Take a break now to  “Listen Back” and learn how to be be cool, calm and collected by leaving the F-state (frenzied, forgetful and furious) and getting back to the C-State (cool, calm and collected.)

“DISTRACTION,” a podcast hosted by Dr. Hallowell, has more tips on how to tackle life’s most difficult subjects like raising children, forgiveness, stress and anxiety, the workplace, teachers and students, difficult people, health, peak performance, and so much more.

Download “CrazyBusy App Tips” for free.

I just completed teaching my course about ADHD on Cape Cod at the Cape Cod Institute hence the title “Summer Reflections.”  If you’ve never taken the course, you ought to consider it.  It’s a lot of fun.  You get a week in Eastham, or whichever nearby town you choose–more on this later–and after spending 9 – 12:15 learning about ADHD in the morning, you get the afternoon and evening free to play.  People always have a ball. Attendees make friends with each other, and almost everyone leaves feeling glad they came, not just for what they learned, but, more important, for the people they met and the experiences they shared.  

It’s all produced by the Cape Cod Institute (Cape.org). 

They offer 3 courses per week all summer long, each on a different topic in mental health, each given by one or two authorities in a wide range of different fields.  It was started 39 years ago by a marvelous psychiatrist, Dr. Gil Levin, who was at Mt. Sinai Medical School when he opened the Institute.  He has since passed the operation on to his son, Alex, who ran it for the first time this summer.  We had about 55 attendees in the course this year, in which I introduced my new name for ADHD.  I now call it VAST, Variable Attention Stimulation Trait.  Carrie Feibel, who attended last year’s course and is Health Editor at KQED in San Francisco, came up with the name and I love it.

I urge you to check out the Cape Cod Institute for yourself.  Now, let me commend the rest of Cape Cod to you. 

A few memories from the week. 

Hatch’s seafood and produce in Wellfleet Center.  We got six lobsters steamed and cracked which fed us and our friends just wonderfully along with the corn from the adjoining farm stand.  LeCount Hollow Beach.  You leave your footwear atop the dune, then walk down to the beach and the surf. 

I grew up in Chatham and it makes me shudder to think that now we have to watch for seals and the risk of sharks that might be following them, but we do.  Nonetheless, the beaches on the Cape, especially those that face the ocean, give me doses of majestic beauty like nothing else. 

Provincetown, Commercial street, a place where people can be whoever they want to be.  It is so wonderful to walk through that little town and bask in how great, and rare, true freedom really is. 

The Wellfleet Drive-In.  Although we didn’t go there to see a movie, and rarely do, it is a landmark, one of the first places I made out when I was a kid, and a wonder that it still stands.  I hope it never closes down. 

The best of summer

Arnold’s.  Lobster rolls, fried clams, beer.  Isn’t this summer at its best?  The occasional rainy day, reading inside, deciding what to cook for dinner, we opted for linguine with clam sauce with plenty of crunchy bread for dipping.  Driveways made of broken oyster shells.  The pungent salt air when you get near the beach at just the right tide with the right wind.  Horseshoe crabs.  Blue claw crabs.  Seagulls.  Beachgrass.  Roadside stands selling jellies made of beachplums and honeysuckle. 

Standing barefoot on the white lines in parking lots so as not to burn your feet while you wait for an ice cream from a truck.  The many bars where when you sit down and look around you have the passing fantasy that maybe you really should have spent your life as a beach bum.  The many churches, some splendidly white, some in such disrepair you wonder why God doesn’t just send a lightning bolt and end it right there. 

The spectacular houses lining the best roads belying the poverty and broken down houses so many of the locals live in while the super houses go empty through the winter.  Hydrangeas and wild roses galore, wildflowers everywhere, each marshy area boasting cat-o-nine-tails standing like fat Churchill cigars, titling in the wind.  To me, it was, and always will be somewhat, home.

The fact that if you are driving it is so hard to get onto the Cape and so hard to get off makes you wonder why so few people live here year round. Maybe some day.

Matt Forte, Build NYC interviewed Dr. Hallowell  today to get the story behind his Memoir,  Because I Come From A Crazy Family The Making of A Psychiatrist. 

In his interview with Matt, Dr. Hallowell shares his personal stories about why he loved his Mom, his dad’s mental illness, why he wrote his Memoir, his unusual journey to becoming a psychiatrist and even how he was conceived. His interview also supports the importance of removing the shame surrounding  mental illness.   LISTEN NOW!

While discussing his memoir, Dr. Hallowell stated,  “It’s unlike any book I’ve written before, this one only tells stories, true stories from my childhood and my early training in psychiatry. I introduce you to the great array of eccentric, wonderful, colorful and yes, sometimes crazy people who populated my life. It gives me enormous pleasure to share with you all the gifts they gave to me through this memoir.”

Learn more about why Dr. Hallowell wrote his memoir and the effects of mental illness on his family, in his blog post HERE.

and in his blog post on Beating the Odds.

Is Your Procrastination Style Working For You by Rebecca Shafir, M.A.CCC Personal Development and Executive Functioning coach at the Hallowell Center MetroWest

I bet you thought I was going to curse procrastination in this blog. Au contraire!  Not all procrastination is bad. As a matter of fact, putting off a major undertaking may give you time to consider the risks. On the other hand, you may have a style of procrastination that works very well for you. According to Mary Lamia in her book What Motivates Getting Things Done, procrastination is a problem when styles collide or when the deadlines are missed or met with unreasonable stress.

The Difference Between Good and Bad Stress

Before I talk about different styles of procrastination, let’s clarify the difference between good and bad stress. Good stress is excitement or intense curiosity, like the jitters you may experience before doing a talk. Bad stress is anxiety provoking, panicky, self-sabotaging and physiologically unhealthy for us and those around us.

Lamia distinguishes between Deadline-Driven and Task-Driven procrastination styles, DDPs and TDPs respectively. DDPs note the deadline and begin mentally planning the task in spurts without taking any overt action. They may let the idea incubate for several days and weeks. Come the last day, it all comes together. Many successful DDPs report a surge of “good stress” and a heightened state of focus within hours of the deadline. They often deliver their best work under pressure. If you’re DDP, and the fallout doesn’t take a toll on your health or the well-being of those around you, it’s a safe and effective strategy, so go with it.

TDPs will start tasks almost immediately, but not complete the tasks until later. They may be perfectionistic and postpone task completion until it meets a high level of quality. These folks have a hard time being satisfied with “good enough.” Yet the successful TDPs will manage many tasks at once and eventually meet their deadlines with a minimal amount of bad stress.

Since procrastination, the bad stress variety, is such a common complaint, I find it easier to help my clients become more efficient within a style that suits them versus trying to switch horses. It’s also good advice to share your style for meeting deadlines with co-workers and partners, as both styles can be unnerving to the non-procrastinator.

Would you like to make your style of procrastination more efficient or rid yourself of procrastination for good? Happy to help! Contact me at Rebecca@MindfulCommunication.com