ADHD and Addiction – of the many masks that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) wears, substance abuse is one of the most difficult to see behind. This is due to the substance abuse itself causing such problems. When someone is alcoholic, abusing opiates, or vaping, we often become so preoccupied with the problems the drug use creates. As a result, we fail to consider what purpose the drug must be servicing for the user. ADHD is one of the underlying causes of substance abuse that is particularly important to look for, because it can be treated.

Addicts Who Have ADHD

For those addicts who do in fact have ADHD, it is essential that the ADHD be treated as well as the addiction.  By treating the ADHD one reduces the likelihood that the individual will go back to abusing the original drug.

Those with ADHD are 5 to 10 times more likely to develop an addiction to a chemical substance or to an activity, or both.

In Distraction S3 Ep 28,  ADHD coach and advanced practice nurse, Kristin Seymour, joins me. We discuss the very real issue of ADHD and addiction in young people. Kristin specializes in treating adolescent boys. So she has seen firsthand the devastating consequences that vaping, opioids and other substances can have on young lives.

LISTEN NOW  to my podcast with Kristin and learn more about ADHD and addiction, the harmful effects of juuling and the advice you should stress to your kids about pills.

Statistically only 10% of people with addictions, get help. That means 90% of addicts don’t seek treatment. If you are struggling with addiction, I encourage you to seek help for yourself. Likewise, if you know someone who is struggling with addiction, encourage them seek help.

Learn more about ADHD treatment HERE

Learn more about getting help for addiction at the:

National Institute on Drug Abuse

National Drug Helpline

This episode is sponsored by Landmark College, the college of choice for students who learn differently. Learn more HERE.

Dr. Hallowell’s Reaction to the College Admissions Cheating Scandal:

Varsity Blues – What Do You Really Want for Your Children?  When I feel as much contempt as I felt for Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman, et al., I stop and ask myself, “And how pure are you?”  This current trick of buying the offspring of the wealthy an admission to college particularly enraged me because I’ve just put our three kids through college. after seeing them gain admission the honest way. Similarly, as a child psychiatrist, I work with many families who are going through the process right now. It can be an arduous, stressful process full of fear, uncertainty, and disappointment.  To see some select few buy their way around it is disgusting at best.

Moral Outrage

But moral outrage always makes me think twice.  As I said, how pure am I. Every Sunday in church I confess to God that I have sinned in many ways and have once again not lived up to my promise to love my neighbor as myself.  That these various wealthy people used their money to do what they now, I would imagine, are thoroughly ashamed of having done, makes me think of them, if I stop and think, rather than simply react as the primitive man I can so easily be, that they are ever so human.

A snake-like character (who has his own all-too-human qualities) tempted them with one of the most alluring and appealing of all prizes a parent can be offered, a plum college admission for their son or daughter, thus sparing said child the pain and possible humiliation of the highly competitive college admission process. The snake’s wealthy target couldn’t resist a guaranteed admission to a desirable college (knowing nothing of the true value of competing to get in, or the true value of college in general, or probably the true value of just about anything in life any longer) and so he jumps for offer.

His or her son or daughter has it made, right?  Little does the wealthy person know that even had the bribe not come to light, the transaction nonetheless would have cast a curse upon the child’s life forever.

These wealthy people were blinded by what they took to be love, were they not, and they saw a way they could afford to help their children, or so they thought. Of course, their attempt to help was crippling, just as it had likely been ever since the child was born.  Good parents do not do this kind of thing, regardless of their wealth, but I go off track.

Guilty of Being Human

My main point is Loughlin, Huffman, et al. are guilty of being human.  Sure, I sat in judgement of them when I first heard of this and thought it represented everything venal and detestable about wealth and privilege and underscored the hypocrisy of so many people who pretend to be one person but are in reality another.

But then I thought of my own little hypocrisies, my own little sins. As a result, I reminded myself maybe I hadn’t done what those folks did simply because I didn’t have that kind of money and that snake had never approached me.  I don’t know Felicity Huffman.  I bet if I sat down and talker with her I’d like her a lot.         

Judging People is a Dangerous Habit

I just think that judging people is a really dangerous habit to get into.  I sure don’t want other people to judge me.  So I’m going to try to look at the humanity of the Varsity Blue scandal and learn from that, rather than heap more scorn and contempt upon people I don’t even know.

Right now, I encourage you to take a few moments and think of your children. Bring their faces to your mind. Then ask yourself, “What do I really want for them in their lives?”

Don’t assume you know. Before you spend another day as a parent (or as a teacher or a coach or anyone else involved with children), try to answer this deceptively simple question: What do I really want for my children?  Is it admission to the most prestigious college? Or is it trophies and prizes and stardom? Perhaps, it is….READ MORE HERE!

If you’re feeling judged, read Dr. Hallowell’s ADDitude Magazine article on, “Feeling Judged: 8 Ways to Let It Go.”

Note from Ned on why “I’m such a simple man and why I love my dog.

da-DUM, da-DUM, da-DUM

A phrase came to me this morning while I was eating my grape nut cereal with blueberries and milk, not my usual breakfast but one I love nonetheless. “On what can you depend?” It came just like that.  Not in the more colloquial, “What can you depend on?” but the more formal, “On what can you depend?”

I actually like the more formal version, not because I am a stiff grammarian—actually the current doyen of grammar, Benjamin Dreyer, urges us to end sentences with prepositions and forget the proscriptions to the contrary we learned in grammar school—but because of the solidity of the rhythm of the line: on WHAT can YOU de PEND; da-DUM, da-DUM, da-DUM.

Right then I could depend on my grape nuts, blueberries, and milk and the solidity of the line, which I liked so much I said it out loud.  I was sitting by myself—no, not by myself, our dog, Max, was sitting on the floor next to me, and when I said it he looked up at me quizzically, so I said it again.  Max made no sense of it so he went back to looking at whatever he’d been looking at before.

Da-DUM, da-Dum, da-DUM.

It’s good to have a dog. Yes, it’s GOOD to HAVE a DOG. da-DUM, da-DUM, da-DUM. It’s GOOD to KNOW your SELF. da-DUM, da-DUM, da-DUM. be WARE the IDES of MARCH. da-DUM, da-DUM, da-DUM. stand UP for THOSE you LOVE. da-DUM, da-DUM, da-DUM. be SURE to BRUSH and FLOSS.

I sat with Max doing da-DUM’s for quite a while.  I was reveling in the feeling of solidity they gave me.  It was heartening to know how much brick I could find in such a short time simply by looking for three iambs in a row.

Why I’m such a simple man

I’m such a simple man.  I love my dog.  And I love my grape nuts, especially with blueberries and milk.  Likewise, I love the morning, especially with Max.  I love that I have three children all in their 20’s who are thriving, thank God. Also I love Sue, my wife, of 30 years. I fear the things we all fear, and I fear not knowing when they will come.  Which brings me back to da-DUM, da-DUM, da-DUM.  I HOPE we ALL find PEACE and JOY.  Ah-ha, I added another da-DUM.

The time had come for this simple man to take my dish to the sink, wash up, and say good bye to Max and my reveries.  It was time for me to go to work. This meant driving out to my office in Sudbury to see the patients who were waiting for me out there.

The drive would give me a chance to get a new window, literally, onto the world, watching the wintry scenes as I drove past them, the snows still clinging to the now brown barked trees, the bare trees, buds barely popping in as yet, muddy patches in some fields where some melting’s come, the blue sky today replacing the heavy gray from yesterday, the sun ever brighter reflecting off the fields still filled with snow, a few horses seeing what they could forage today let out of their stalls into one of the fields, feeling on the precipice of spring with Savings Time just let in to provide us with more daylight or so the idea has it go.

I watch the nature I know so well, having grown up in New England, these rhythms run me now as they ever did then.  Or I turn on NPR, then switch to sports radio then to the classical station then to the other station that has 60’s songs I like, I channel surf and try to pay attention to the road.

I look forward to seeing the people who are waiting to see me in the office.  For that reason I feel grateful that I have a useful purpose to serve.  I think to myself, I hope I do it well today.  i HOPE i DO it WELL to DAY.

ADHD diagnoses is on the rise in the U.S. Why has it gone from 6.1% in 1997 to 10.2% in 2016?  Is that a good thing or bad thing?

In Distraction, S3 Mini 23, Dr. Hallowell shares his thoughts on why more U.S. kids aged 4 to 17 are being diagnosed with ADHD, and what that increase really means.  LISTEN NOW!

What you should know about getting an ADHD Diagnosis and the   Treatment of ADHD 

Make sure you consult with a well-trained specialist. The doctors who have the most training in ADHD are child psychiatrists. First of all, if you are an adult, be aware that all child psychiatrists also are trained in adult psychiatry. Ask the person you see if he or she has extensive experience in working with patients in your age group. It is imperative that you consult with a professional who has extensive experience. If you can’t find such a person, start by calling the department of psychiatry at the medical school nearest to you.

Secondly, the diagnosis rests upon a careful history taken from the identified patient as well as at least one other person. Such as a parent, spouse, sibling, or close friend, as well as, if possible, teacher comments.

Finally, you should develop a comfortably connected relationship with the person diagnosing and treating you so that you can turn to him or her with trust whenever the need arises.

The history may be supplemented by neuropsychological testing. This is paper-and-pencil testing that includes puzzles and games. It’s actually often fun to take these tests. They are not diagnostic of ADHD, but they add valuable information.

Treatment begins with education.

The patient and concerned others need to learn what ADHD is, and what it is not. Therefore, a diagnosis of the mind, like ADHD, must be fully understood if it is to be mastered. Most noteworthy, at its best, ADHD can become an asset, rather than a liability, in a person’s life. However, for this to happen, the person has to develop a deep appreciation for how ADHD works within him or her. To understand ADHD, a person could begin with one of my books, like Delivered From Distraction, or with some other book on the topic. Just be sure you read a book by a highly qualified expert who writes clearly and well.

Treatment proceeds with a re-structuring of one’s life.

Usually, disorganization is a leading problem in the life of the person who has ADHD. Often an organizational coach can help enormously in developing new habits of organization and time management.

Physical Exercise

Treatment should also include physical exercise, at least 4 times per week. Dr. John Ratey’s work and his book, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, notes that physical exercise is one of the best treatments we have for ADHD.

Proper nutrition

Nutrition plays an important role in the treatment of ADHD in all ages. The key simply is to eat well, avoid junk food and sugar, eat whole foods, and don’t self-medicate with carbs, as many people with ADHD are tempted to do.

If you think you might have ADHD, CLICK HERE to learn what the Hallowell Centers can do for you.

Learn more about ADHD HERE!

When I was in medical school at Tulane, down in New Orleans, back in the mid-1970’s, I learned how to make red beans and rice.

You may not think that sounds like much of a much, but it remains the dish more people ask me to remake than any other. Once you’ve had my red beans, you’ve just got to have them again.  My daughter insists that I freeze them and bring them with me to New York whenever I make them in our home outside Boston.  Our friends always ask, “When are you making those red beans again?”  They’ve become a staple at our Super Bowl parties and we always clean the huge pot down to the last bean.

The problem is, I have ADHD, so my “recipe” isn’t the kind of recipe people who follow recipes expect.  When I told my wife I was going to put my recipe for red beans and rice in our newsletter, she laughed.  “How are you going to that, honey?  You don’t have one!”

And that’s the truth.  Just like every talk I give is different from every other, every batch of red beans I make is different from every other.  And probably none of them is as good as what’s simmering on the back burner of some shack out in the Bayou right now.  But I’m getting there, one batch at a time.

There’s some basics you do have to follow though.  That much I can tell you. So you never use canned red beans.  You might as well serve dog food and rice as serve canned red beans and rice.  Pure mush.  So you start with dried kidney beans.  I buy two and a half pounds because I always make a pretty large pot of my red beans, why else bother.  Sometimes I buy three pounds, even three and a half.  Then you need to soak your beans in water overnight.  They will plump right up so make sure you put them in a large pot and leave a good eight to ten inches of water over them for them to plump up into.

When you come down in the morning your beans will be looking out at you over the brim of the pot.  Now you drain them in a large colander and throw away any beans that look ugly.  You don’t need any fancier or more technical word than that.  Just throw out the ugly beans.  And keep all the rest of those plumped up proud little beauties.

Next, pour some olive oil into the bottom of the large pot that you’ve dried thoroughly (cuz oil and water don’t mix, don’t-cha know), and dump in a couple of chopped up onions and a chopped up large green bell pepper or two smaller ones.  After a while, when they become translucent, so you can sort of see through them, the onions and the peppers that is, but not entirely see-through, then throw in about ten or twelve cloves of chopped up garlic.  Now I love my garlic.  You can use less if you want to.  When it’s done you won’t hardly taste it anyway, I mainly put so much in for the aroma while I’m cooking.  Once all of that gets mingled and settled in, then you can dump in all those lovely red beans, and listen to them hit the pot like rain on a tin roof.

Now you hafta add some liquid quick, and you can pick whatever you want, I usually add some of that beef broth that comes in those cardboard quart containers, I put in about three quarts, and more later, but you can use water if you want to cheap out, or you can use a boullion cube, or whatever tickles your fancy, there’s no rule, but you do need some liquid right away.

I usually add a full bunch of flat leaf Italian parsley with the thick part of the stems cut off.  Then I take a three pound chunk of Black Forest ham and cut it into chunks and throw that into the pot, along with about seven or eight Andouille sausages cut up, and a couple of kielbasa cut up, and four or five Chorizo sausages cut up.

Now you add whatever spices you want, but low on salt because the ham will have it.  Bay leaves, oregano, thyme, pepper for sure, red pepper flakes (go light because you can add them at table), and whatever else moves you at the time.

Then simmer for hours.  Gradually the soup will thicken as the beans soften and a kind of gravy will come into being, a beautiful melding to behold and smell.  It is so delicious.  Taste as you go, modifying all along.  This is your creation, make it live.  There is nothing quite like making your very own red beans.

Play with it.  Have fun with it.  Enjoy! I would love it if you sent me your comments and photos. Send to drhallowell@gmail.com.

What’s my message to you for 2019?

What do I mean by a connection?

• A piece of music, a work of art, a football team, a meadow,
• the restaurant where you met the woman or man you love,
• or the street where you found that 20-dollar bill when you really needed it,
• maybe it’s the boss who gave you a break when you really needed it,
• your grandmother,
• fudge,
• a funeral when it’s done right,
• New York at Christmas time,
• Cape Cod in the summer,
• oysters on the half shell,
• red beans and rice made by me,
• your children,
• the nap you take after Thanksgiving dinner,
• tears you cry on someone’s shoulder or the person whose shoulder you cry on,
• the person who shows you how to forgive or the person who betrayed you asking for forgiveness,
• it could be the light at the end of the tunnel,
• a single red geranium in a clay pot on the kitchen table there to greet me in the cottage I rented all by myself one summer week,
• heavy rain in the middle of the night when you’re in bed,
• any child looking up at you with trust,
• people over 40 who have not become cynical,
• my wife Sue,
• Tabasco,
• my memory of my cousin Lyn who died way too young,
• the sound of waves crashing onto the shore at Harding’s Beach where Lyn loved to walk,
• honeysuckles in Chatham,
• boiled lobster,
• my best friend Peter,
• playing squash,
• delivering babies,
• a straw hat with a red band,
• hoopla wherever it happens like at the Puerto Rican restaurant we ate at the other night,
• the Messiah,
• Fenway Park,
• snow before it becomes a problem,
• polite and humble people,
• all works of Samuel Johnson,
• every episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm,
• pasta,
• feta cheese,
• taramasalata,
• church music,
• Christ Church Cambridge,
• the memory of our dog, Ziggy,
• and the fact that hope still does spring eternal,
• or the works of Dav Pilkey,
• the Lincoln Memorial, and
• that we are all connected, you, and I, and all the rest of us, now and forever.

Happy 2019!

Give the Gift of Love – as December 25th approaches, I can’t help but reflect on warm memories from holidays long gone, and encourage you to reach out to those around you regardless of whether or not they celebrate Christmas. It’s a time when everyone can give love!

Listen to S3 Mini Episode 15 and join  me as I reminisce about my favorite holiday and what the season is about. I hope you’ll be inspired to give the greatest gift, which is the gift of connection, the gift of LOVE. 

Wishing you a wonderful, safe and happy holiday filled with love and joy.

Was it my two front teeth?

What do you want this time of year?  This time of the year makes me think of the song, “All I Want for Christmas…”  Do you still have your two front teeth?  I am lucky enough, at the  age of 69, still to have mine.  They stand there like mini enamel tombstones, ready to sparkle my smile or bite into an ear of corn. I am grateful to have my reliable chompers.

What do I really want for Christmas?  What do you want?  For Chanukah or whichever holiday you celebrate?  I bet what you want is what every adult wants: peace, love, harmony.  Paid bills.  Good health.  Boundless joy everywhere we look.

We have a new dog, since our beloved Ziggy died six months ago.  Our new dog, Max, embodies boundless joy.  He’s a rescue dog, picked up off of a dirt road in Alabama.  They told us he was just about dead when they found him. They described him as a starving puppy with cuts on his paws and ears, and emaciated.  Must have weighed 10 pounds if that.  They fed him and treated his wounds and transported him up to Massachusetts where he went to a foster home for a while to get healthy.  That’s when we met him.

He was about six weeks old then and weighed about 25 pounds. Fortunately, he had filled out from the emaciated pup on death’s door and had become the beginning of the full-blown personality we know today.

Today? Max, Maximus, Maximillion weighs around 70 pounds, looks for all the world like Scooby Doo, and is all legs and paws and mouth and 100% heart.

Meet Max

He’s a beautiful, big, brown loping dog who bounds into a room like a crashing wave.  If there’s a gate across the doorway, which we put up when he was smaller, now he simply leaps over it.  Once in the room he jumps into whosever lap he sees first and immediately starts to lick that person. Or he’ll take the person’s arm into his mouth, not to bite, but to massage the arm with his large, white teeth.

His size and smooth brown coat makes me think he might be part Great Dane or Dobermann or maybe a bit of Boxer.  We’re going to send in a dog DNA test to find out for sure.  Who knows what that will bring back!  Maybe a trace of Chihuahua just to mess us up.

This boy is a true beauty.  But he is still just a puppy, growing and quite out of control, despite our attempts with obedience classes and such.  He loves to chew…everything.  His favorites are shoes, hats, scarves, pillows, blankets, doormats, boxes, wallets, credit cards, and whatever he can snatch off of the kitchen counter.  We love it, of course, when he will agree to chew one of the many chew toys we’ve bought for him.

Boundless Joy

But his greatest, most unavoidable quality is indeed his boundless joy.  Max bounds.  Boundlessly.  Everywhere he goes, he bounds.  Tail wagging, big brown eyes looking up ready to engage, paw ready to lift to shake, You can see the energy Max exudes in this video.

Max makes his rounds of our four story (including basement) house, until sleeping at night in our son Jack’s room. Jack, his official owner, picked him out, along with our other son Tucker.  Sue, my wife, cautioned them against a big dog, to no avail, and now, although she calls Max such a bad dog when he chews her favorite shoe, she loves him as much as all of us do.  It is impossible not to love Max, as bad as he can be.

Boundless joy delivered by a being who destroys your favorite shoe, poops in middle of your living room floor, jumps up onto your guest’s lap, and wolfs down your dinner from the very plate you were about to eat it off of.  Isn’t this the secret to finding the best in life?

That’s what I want for Christmas.  Even more than my two front teeth, I want Max.  Max.  Maximus.  And all that Max brings with him.

May your holidays be filled with Maxes of your own.  Thank the Lord for Max and whoever bent over on that dirt road in Alabama to pick up that half dead pup who’s come to bring us joy.

Do you have difficulty learning?  Learn how to “Uncover Your Learning Style,” with Dr. Hallowell and Jessica McCabe. In this episode, they  discuss what helped them learn.  Dr. Hallowell  used flashcards to get him through medical school. Jessica learns better when she walks around while she’s reading. Do you know how you learn best?

In this special episode sponsored by Landmark College, Dr. Hallowell and the How to ADHD creator talk about the importance of listening to yourself to discover your unique learning style, and how that knowledge can help you achieve success in high school, college and beyond.  LISTEN NOW!

Fear of Feedback by Rebecca Shafir, M.A.CCC Personal Development and Executive Functioning coach at the Hallowell Center MetroWest

Q: We have a very sensitive engineer who is key to our startup. My partner and I have to be very careful how we phrase anything regarding his work. I’m not even talking about constructive criticism. It might be something said in passing. While we try very hard not to say anything that could be misconstrued, you never know what is going to be misinterpreted. So, how do you suggest dealing with this employee?

For many, fear of feedback (including compliments) is a problem. Probably, the most common reason for someone to be this sensitive is that in their past they were severely and frequently criticized. For that reason, even the mildest suggestion is painful. They may express this fear of feedback in several self-sabotaging ways: denial, procrastination, rigidity, avoidance, jealousy, brooding etc. It’s extremely self-limiting burden to bear, personally and professionally. Any slight suggestion is interpreted as failure or rejection. An extreme fear of feedback is a condition called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and improved only with medication.

Things You Can Do

First of all, your employee’s sensitivity to feedback may require some outside coaching or some clinical help. However,  here are things you can do:

1) Increase trust. Schedule a short coffee break with him a couple times a week to talk about his interests or how the startup is moving along. Point out general areas of improvement that are needed within your startup (marketing, beta testing, quality control etc.)  Share the remedial steps that others had to take.

2) Get his perspective on ways to make the company better, and how to implement those improvements. Let him know you appreciate the perspective sharing. This is a good way to model how positively feedback can be received and put to work.

3) Then, I would gradually point out a change that he needs to make in order to make the company better and possibly to incentivize him. Use numbers and benchmarks. Avoid making any direct attacks on his performance; keep it more “big picture.” Break it down the change into do-able steps with opportunities for regular updates.

4) Verbally reinforce any progress made toward change.

If that fails, coaching is a good next step. As a coach, I would help him identify the emotion behind his reaction, and help him re-frame the criticism to loosen the grip of the negative association. Next, I would help him approach the needed change by breaking down the task to small, satisfying and manageable chunks. In my experience, this results in decreasing the fear of feedback, and in most cases, creating a healthier attitude around feedback.

If the fear of feedback prevents you from advancing in your career and in your relationships, let’s have a talk. Contact me at Rebecca@MindfulCommunication.com. 

If you’re experience Shame, read this blog post on ADHD and Shame.