ADHD & the Family “Reputation”

ADHD Parent Tip: Try to change the family “reputation” of the person with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD.) Reputations within families, like reputations within towns or organizations, keep a person in one set or mold. Recasting within the family the reputation of the person with ADHD can set up a fresh start and brighter expectations. If you are expected to screw up, you probably will. While, if you are expected to succeed, you just might.

Having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be a Gift

It may be hard to believe at first, but having ADHD can be more a gift than a curse. Try to see and develop the positive aspects of the person with ADHD and try to change their family reputation to accentuate these positive aspects. Remember, this person usually brings a special something to the family, special energies, special creativity, special humor. He (or she) usually livens up any gathering he attends, and even when he is disruptive it’s usually exciting to have him around. He or she has a lot to give; and the family, more than any group of people, can help him/her reach their potential.

Click HERE to learn more about ADHD for Parents.

Parenting a child with ADHD? Listen HERE to learn Dr. Hallowell’s Top 3 Tips for Managing Your Child’s ADHD.

8 things I Wish Teachers knew about my ADHD child

When he eventually became depressed — common for kids with ADHD — I made it my mission to ensure Nick’s teachers knew what interventions were working at home and what could help at school. Here’s what I’ve learned, and what I think every teacher should understand, too.

Some classroom interventions are helpful and others only make things worse. Parents can be a valuable resource.

Read More in the Boston Globe.

Dr. Hallowell’s ADHD Tips for Teachers

If the teacher can master the following tips, teaching students with ADHD should become much easier and more effective. These students can transform over the school year. They can change from being your most frustrating students to your most rewarding.

The following tips on classroom management of ADHD were presented in Driven to Distraction. They are revised, updated, and reprinted here because we have heard from many teachers that they have found them to be very helpful.

Learn more with the 10 tips on the classroom management of ADHD.

Learn about Dr. Hallowell’s online ADHD videos, designed to help teachers effectively manage ADHD in the classroom HERE.

If you’d like to have Dr. Hallowell speak at your school, learn more HERE.

Burned out? Learn how to take back control!

Screens are sucking up so much of our time that people aren’t able to do what they really want, said Edward Hallowell, a psychiatrist who lives in Arlington and runs centers focusing on ADHD in Sudbury and around the country. This can put people in “survival mode,” making them impulsive, angry, inflexible, humorless, and unproductive.

“It’s exhausting to live a disconnected life that doesn’t have meaning,” he said. “Now more than ever . . . you have to be able to say no. You have to be able to say, ‘I’ll get back to you on that.’ ” The Boston Globe

Learn more tips on how to “feel less busy” here.

Get Dr. Hallowell’s “10 Tips on Managing Your Time” here.

A Celebration of Life

A Celebration of life – recently my wife, Sue, and I, along with my niece, Molly, and her 11-year-old daughter, Josselyn, who dreams of becoming a star of stage and screen one day, went to see Hugh Jackman at Madison Square Garden. This is part of a five-month world tour in some thirty cities for this 50-year-old phenom who seems to get younger every year.
As we sat and watched his dazzling performance, backed up by a cast of over 150 musicians, technicians, dancers, singers, and stagehands, not to mention his beautiful wife, Deb, seated in the audience, whom he serenaded in the sweetest, most romantic moment you’ll ever see in a live performance, I had to wonder not only at the huge talent of this man—his range, from song to dance to stage to screen to drama to comedy to variety—but to the extraordinary goodness of him as well.

Celebration of Life Theme

The theme that ran throughout the two hour show was a full-on celebration of life in all its dimensions, in all its variety, in its total and glorious diversity. Out came Keala Settle to sing a searing rendition of the song “This Is Me” which she made famous as the Bearded Lady in “The Greatest Showman.” It includes the lines, “When the sharpest words wanna cut me down, I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out, I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be, this is me.”
How much Hugh Jackman understands and loves all this, loves differences in people, how much he celebrates it in the show he put on that night—and night after night around the world—as well as his wish to bring all people, no matter who, together. He said, “When I was in Minnesota, they taught me a new term, LGBTQA. I said I knew about LGBTQ, but what’s the A? They said it stands for ‘Allies’. I said, Great, because I’m an ally for sure. Now we have a term that includes everybody.” But then he went on to add, But when I got to New York, they told me, “Oh, no, Hugh, the ‘A’ stands for ‘Asexual’. Well, I’m not asexual, but I am an ally for sure!”
Hugh is an ally indeed, an ally of us all, a man who, along with Deb, applies his tremendous talent and resources to unite people, spread understanding and good will, raise spirits, and fill people’s lives with song, laughter, and love.
He’s a friend to our cause as well, the cause of invisible differences. Those lyrics from “This Is Me” could just as easily come out of the mouth of a person who has ADHD or dyslexia as out of the mouth of a woman who has a beard or a man who’s mocked for being short, fat, or funny-looking.
As I sat there in Madison Square Garden, being moved to laughter and tears by the World’s Greatest Showman I thought to myself how wonderful it is that God gives us a Hugh Jackman to offset the guttural voices of hatred and division, of ignorance and bigotry and scorn, that God gives us a Hugh Jackman to inspire us as he tours the world tirelessly raising hope every night, lifting up the people who can’t see the stars.
As I listened to his resounding voice and marveled at the light step of his dance, I knew that this man who was once a little boy in Australia watching Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly on TV, had been plucked up by the spirits that look out for us all and sent on a mission, a special World Tour, in which he was to put to rout the evil-scaled demons and dragons that kill people’s dreams and replace them instead with this shining star, this astonishing Knight in Red Circus who cast a spell upon us all, from little Josselyn sitting next to me, her mouth agape and her eyes as open as her heart, to the entire hurting and waiting world, if it would only listen.

College and ADHD

College and ADHD: If you or a student you know has ADHD, his or her ability to get work done, done well and on time could be compromised. Success in college is more about getting work done, done well and on time (“executive function skills and routines”) than IQ!

Summer CollegeCore Coaching prepares students’ executive function skills and routines in advance to secure a happier, healthier and more accomplished academic year.

CollegeCORE Coaching (by phone, Skype or in person) helps high school upperclassmen and college students conquer the most common problems associated with ADHD or Executive Dysfunction. Rebecca provides effective, practical and non-medication solutions for getting things done well and on time. She has worked with ADHD students and entrepreneurs for over 20 years. Read more at www.MindfulCommunication.com. Rebecca’s coaching and training approach builds the core skills and routines that enable success in school and greater marketability for the workplace.

CollegeCORE students will learn:

  • core skills and routines for managing anxiety and improving focus, follow through and communication
  • to become more independent, and how to be the CEO of YOU, even if you don’t plan to be an entrepreneur
  • basic organizational skills
  • problem-solving skills
  • note-taking skills
  • more efficient study and test-taking skills
  • why good sleep is a major ally for the ADHD student, sleep’s powerful role in learning and ways to improve sleep quality
  • how exercise regimen best promotes clearer thinking and improved productivity
  • tips to apply Rebecca’s 80/20 approach for managing procrastination
  • how to self-advocate – a competitive life skill.

How CollegeCore Coaching works:

The process begins with a complimentary 15-20 minute inquiry call with Rebecca. Call to set up that inquiry session (978) 287-0810 or (978) 255-1817. This is a brief discussion to answer questions about the program. This discussion helps to determine whether the CollegeCore coaching approach is appropriate for the student.

A 90 minute meeting (in person, Skype or phone) follows to get background information, identify personal strengths and establish personal objectives,  deadlines (if imposed) for improvement, and to determine best approaches. Fee: $325.00

Based on that meeting an action plan is created and the frequency of coaching sessions is determined. The goal is to identify the best starting point(s) and select a couple small steps that are fairly easy to implement consistently. Our goal is  that these steps will yield some early and notable results. These new routines become habits. Minor adjustments are made along the way. For some, the compound effect will work best, for others a multi-target approach is better.

The process is customized to the student and his/her needs. Coaching sessions are $150/hour, $75/30 minutes. Sessions may be 1-3x a week; duration and frequency is determined by Rebecca and the student. While not mandatory, a spouse, partner or co-founder may also be involved, if desired. Progress is addressed at each session. As the gains become more consistent and the student more independent, the coaching sessions wind down. Consequently, check-in sessions are monthly or bi-monthly, then every six months or as needed.

To set up a CollegeCORE inquiry session or to make an appointment with Rebecca Shafir, Speech/language pathologist, voice coach, executive functioning coach and author, contact:

The Hallowell Center BostonMetroWest in Sudbury MA at (978) 287-0810 or her

West Newbury office (978) 255-1817 to schedule sessions in person or by phone or Skype.

How to Explain ADHD to a Child

How to Explain ADHD to a Child – If your child was just diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, it’s important to remember that ADHD isn’t a death sentence. In fact, it’s a condition that can bring incredible gifts.  Of course, you may worry that the diagnosis can make your child feel labeled or set apart from other kids. So it’s important to that you not let ADHD define your child.   

Don’t Let ADHD Define Your Child 

Having ADHD is like being left-handed; it’s only a part of who you are. Try to answer any questions your child has about ADHD, but keep the answers simple and brief. Some older children may want to read a book about ADHD, but they don’t need to become experts on ADHD – just experts on living their lives as fully and well as they can.

One of the most important things for the parents to do is to help that child feel good about who he or she is. You’ll need to search out and promote the positives – both about life and about your child – even as you deal with the all-too-obvious negatives. If your child feels good about who he is and about what life has to offer, he will do far better than if he does not.

“In my 30-plus years, I have learned that the moment of delivering the ADHD diagnosis ranks among the most crucial. It can determine the arc of a person’s life.” | In Dr. Ned Hallowell ADDitude article on “Your Brain is a Ferrari,” provides pointers for professionals and parents on how to explain ADHD to a child in a way that emphasizes strengths and builds confidence.  

Read all of Dr. Hallowell’s ADDitude articles on ADHD here. Dr. Hallowell is a member of ADDitude’s ADHD Specialist Panel.

 

“Recognition Responsive Euphoria,” or RRE

Over the past few years, Dr. William Dobson has helped multitudes of people of all ages who have ADHD by developing the concept of “rejection sensitive dysphoria,” or RSD.  The painful syndrome of feeling acute and profound dejection at even the slightest perceived insult or “dis” is common among those of us who have ADHD.

I’ve observed a sister syndrome of RSD in my 69 years of living with ADHD and my 38 years of treating the condition in children and adults.  This sister syndrome is, in my experience, even more common that RSD.  I call it:

“Recognition Responsive Euphoria,” or RRE.

Perhaps because people who have untreated ADHD are so accustomed to making mistakes and receiving criticism, they become positively giddy when they receive positive recognition.  The best way to get them charged up and motivated is to praise—legitimately, honestly—some element of a project they’re working on.  Compliment an outfit they’re wearing, or praise a proposal they’re developing or  an idea they’re hatching.

My friend, John Croyle, head of the home for abandoned children in Alabama called Big Oak Ranch, told me years ago that one of the best ways to instill hope in kids who have lost hope is to “be a dream maker, not a dream breaker.”  That’s all about providing recognition for whatever positive action a person might perform.  It helps everyone.  However, for people who have ADHD, it takes us to a whole new level.

Rife with Frustration versus Resilient and Spunky

The typical day of a person who has ADHD—of any age—if it is not treated is rife with frustration, rejection, and failure.  While it is also true that people with ADHD are remarkably resilient and spunky.  So one of the best ways to get them going in a good direction, in spite of all the negativity they have to contend with, is to find something positive in what they are doing and notice it.  Go for it.  You will quickly see eyes light up, and the person swing into action like a whirling dervish of positive energy.

I’ve written a lot of books.  But I couldn’t have written a single one of them without frequent doses of positive energy—recognition, encouragement, doses of keep on keepin’ on—to keep me going.  Thank God my wife, Sue, seems to have an endless store.

How to Get Encouragement and Recognition

First of all, make sure you find people who have lots encouragement and recognition to give.  They are precious.  Some people are notoriously stingy with it, as if it were a valuable coin not to be parted with.  True, it’s not to be given underserved, for then it loses all its power.  But neither should it be withheld until a person produces achievement worthy of a Nobel Prize.

If you have ADHD, and you find that you are low on motivation, energy, and are not working up to your potential, one reason may be that you are not getting enough recognition.  Once you find the right person or better still, the right people to give you that recognition, then you can tap into the tremendous power of Recognition Responsive Euphoria.

Remember if you need it, it does not mean you are weak.

I need it like crazy, and I am not weak.  Most people who achieve in creative fields need it like crazy, and they are not weak.  People with ADHD need it, and we are anything but weak.  People with ADHD are some of the strongest people in the world, emotionally, constitutionally, never-give-up-wise.

So know this about yourself and others with ADHD. Then plan how to tap into and get or give Recognition Responsive Euphoria!

If you would like to learn more, sign up for my Live ADDiTude Webinar with Dr. John Ratey on November 21, 2019.  We’ll discuss Recognition Responsive Euphoria (RRE), the sister syndrome of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria which is characterized by soaring peaks of positivity and euphoria.  Learn more and register for FREE here!

Family Summer Camp for ADHD

Summer is just around the corner. As you start making summer plans for your child, have you considered an ADHD summer camp for the whole family?

Dr. Hallowell’s ADHD Summer Adventures Family Camp is a camp for parents and their children ages 8 – 18; including siblings who do not have ADHD.
Dr. Hallowell’s camp runs from July 19 – 24, 2020 in Glen Arbor, Michigan and offers everything you want in a great family experience: location, staff, challenge, program balance, fun and new friends!
Celebrating our 15th season this year.
Read this ADDitude article on the camp, including comments from past participants.
Learn why Dr. Hallowell’s Summer Adventures ADHD Family camp is unlike any other ADHD camp in this VIDEO.
Any questions, please contact Sue Hallowell at 781.820.0881.
Come join us and learn how to avoid the pitfalls of ADHD and bring out the best. Learn more and register here. Hope to see you this summer!

Removing the Stigma of ADHD

Dr. Hallowell says, “Fear and shame are the major learning disabilities.”  As a result, removing the stigma of ADHD and getting rid of shame and fear are key! Above all, kids, and this includes kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD,) Dyslexia or any learning challenge, need to feel emotionally safe in the classroom and at home.

In Distraction Ep 35 on Removing the Stigma of ADHD, Kathy Kolbe and Dr. Hallowell discuss their views on ADHD. Furthermore, they discuss the importance of removing the stigma associated with ADHD. Finally, Dr. Hallowell shares his tips on how to harness the power of ADHD.

Listen now using any of the links below:

Perfectly Obstinate People website: https://perfectlyobstinate.com/25

iTunes: https://apple.co/2IS9FYv

Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2GROYIN

Learn more about ADHD here.

Click HERE to earn more about Changing the Shame and Stigma of ADHD.

 

Your ADHD Brain is a Ferrari

Why do I say, “Your ADHD Brain is a Ferrari?”  My goal is to help people master the power of ADHD while avoiding its pitfalls. When the diagnosis of ADHD emphasizes what is wrong with a person, that person immediately starts to see himself in those negative terms. Shame, fear and self-doubt grow. However, when the treatment of ADHD begins with an effort to find what’s good in a person by using a strength-based approach to ferret out their hidden strengths and emphasizes what is positive, then the person sees himself in a positive light.  

When explaining ADHD to a child, I say, “you have a turbo charged mind – like a Ferrari engine, but the brakes of a bicycle, and I’m the break expert.”   When ADHD is properly treated, the person can achieve great heights: doctors, lawyers, CEO’s, dreamers, innovators, explorers and even Harvard grads.   Founders of our country may have had ADHD. The flip-side of distractibility is curiosity.  

Read my ADDitude article “Your Brain is a Ferrari,” to learn more and watch my “RaceCar Brain” video below:

If you just found out your child has ADHD, learn more HERE.