Shelley MacLeod, LICSW is offering support for overwhelmed parents. Parents are experiencing a great deal of stress and emotions right now in this current crisis.  The truth is, many of us already felt overwhelmed before we even heard of Covid-19.  The amount of “hats” that parents are wearing right now is quite heavy:

• parent,
• teacher,
• employee,
• counselor,
• worrier of loved ones,
• Zoom play-date scheduler,
• and many more!

You are also trying to manage your own emotional rollercoaster of fear, loss, hope, and frustration while responding to all of your child’s emotions, too.  If you are finding your own “cup” empty from filling up everyone else’s, you need support.

Shelley MacLeod, LICSW is available to offer support to parents through Zoom or phone appointments.  Shelley is a psychotherapist at the Hallowell Center Boston MetroWest. She has more than a decade of experience of working with children and families with a warm engaging style.  She is also a mother of two young children.

Support sessions are available Monday through Friday via zoom or by phone.  If you would like to set up a Zoom or phone appointment with Shelley, fill out the form below:

Oops! We could not locate your form.

In his podcast, Dr. Hallowell offers some tips on How To Take Care of Yourself in Times of Crisis.

Learn about ADHD students and remote learning.

The Force of Each Other

So here we are, everyone’s stressed out, worried, preoccupied, and otherwise twitched and bewitched by what my friend Ken Duckworth calls “The Thing”. It’s all anyone talks about on TV or radio, and it’s pretty much the driver of most conversations elsewhere. The Thing.

But even before “The Thing” there was life interactive. Back then, BTT, before The Thing, we went to:

• restaurants,
• movies,
• church (well, my wife and I went to church, you may have gone somewhere else),
• hair salons (how on earth am I going to get my hair cut now?),
• we milled around in malls, and
• flew long flights in supersonic jets,
• we saw dentists and doctors for the now cancelled elective procedures, and
• lastly, we pretty much elected to do whatever we wanted.

Before The Thing – BTT:

• we did not fear other people within six feet of us, unless they were malodorous or menacing;
• likewise we did not fear making a transaction with cash;
• nor did we fear going to the dry cleaner or the cobbler or the fruit stand;
• we did not fear aerosols, droplets, or every sneeze and cough, at least most of us did not.
• finally, BTT we could breathe free.

But now, In the Age of The Thing, ITAOTT, pronounced eye-tah-ott, which rolls off the tongue more trippingly if you pronounce it EYE-dah-yott, now we see the face of things quite changed. The Thing has worked its way into our lives more intimately than any of us could ever have imagined. It’s changed our daily lives far more than 9/11 did. It’s the first global natural disaster most of us have ever lived through.

What to Do?

I wish I could tell you how to squelch The Thing. But I can only tell you what you already know: keep physical (not social!) distance; wash hands; wear a mask if you can find one or create one; and do your best not to leave your house.

It’s difficult to “fight” an invisible enemy against which your most powerful weapon is avoidance. We are accustomed, when we fight, to engage, to confront, and to battle, either physically or verbally. But now the very last thing we want to do is engage physically with this enemy; our verbal engagements only serve for us to blow off steam, fear, and anxiety.

Each day, we read the daily dismal stats. We get angry at policy-makers with whom we disagree, and we get inspired or at least comforted by policy-makers with whom we agree. Of course, we all love Dr. Fauci, so we all thank God that he is on the case. But even Dr. Fauci can’t wave a magic wand and make it all go back to BTT. We are left ITAOTT.

People  Rising to the Occasion

Still, I can’t help but say this has all the makings of our finest hour, as:

• more and more people rise to the occasion,
• while more and more people put their lives on the line in high-risk essential jobs,
• and more and more people stay at home, find ways to secure additional income or make provisions for lost income;
• they manage to keep peace in the house and food on the table as the days march by, one at a time, with no real notion of an end-date.

We worry over and pray for the people who live in crowded housing who have no choice but to all but be on top of each other, or crowd into the one elevator in the fifteen story building that works. Additionally, we worry over and pray for the people we could normally roll up our sleeves and go help, but who we now have to steer clear of.  Finally, we worry and pray also for our friends, our communities, and ourselves, knowing that even the safest among us is not safe.

What we have is what we’ve always had, only now, ITAOTT, it is different. It is called each other. Friends who do not usually call me or text me have been calling me and texting me. They have no idea what a pick-me-up that gives me. The patients I’ve been seeing remotely still engage with me, only remotely, and we get the work done without missing much of a beat. But it is different, and we both know it. I don’t know how my patients feel for sure, but I think we both feel proud of our ingenuity and glad that we haven’t let the virus stop us dead in our tracks.

Turning to Each Other

Fully mindful that is has stopped an awful lot of people dead, period, I still remind myself that it is each other to whom I turn. To whom we all turn. Imagine, wherever you are, turning your eyes around the world in your imagination, bringing to mind the billions of us who are all rooting together for each other. When was the last time that happened? The collective each other all rooting together for each other?

I don’t know about you, but I think that kind of rooting sets in motion a special kind of therapeutic force, a force of positive energy that can’t but do us all a pack of good. Let’s add to the force of science, the force of each other.

Here’s looking at you, kid.

I have ADHD.  That means I have one hell of an imagination.  But is having a potent imagination a blessing or a curse?  Centuries ago Samuel Johnson, who had one hell of an imagination himself and also fit the profile of ADHD, wrote about “that hunger of imagination which preys incessantly upon life, and must always be appeased by some employment.”

Our imagination is hungry, we who have the condition so misleadingly called Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD.)  I say misleadingly because the last thing we suffer from is a deficit of attention.  To the contrary, we possess an abundance of attention.  Our challenge always is to control it.

The most difficult part of our mind to control is our imagination.

Hungry?  It’s ravenous.  It must be fed. It knows no feeding schedule, but when it feels the need, it lets us know.   If we can then find employment, to use Johnson’s word, for our imagination in some pleasant or constructive project, scheme, or other undertaking, then our imagination becomes our ally, even proof of our genius, our originality, our way of changing the world even.  When suitably employed in creating something of value to us or to others, then we give thanks to our genes and our Creator for this gift called imagination we did nothing to earn but can never abandon.

However, when we cannot find suitable employment for this hungry faculty over which we have so little control, why then it turns on us with a ferocity others can’t understand. It sets about:

• devouring us,
• ripping away at our self regard, our
• feeling of security in the world, our
• confidence in a bountiful future, and our
• actual grip on reality, on our own sanity.

What happens when our imagination is not fed?

When not fed by some suitable employment, our imagination turns into an:

• untamed and vicious beast, an
• an ugly, salivating monster,
• our worst enemy, made all the worse and far, far more dangerous by being of us, in us, and always with us.

We can to nothing to dispose of it or rip it out of our minds.  To quiet it we sometimes turn to drugs, alcohol, or compulsive behaviors like gambling, spending, or sexual escapades.  It is the rapacious hunger of imagination, unable to find suitable employment, that turns so many of us who have ADHD into addicts and compulsive people of all kinds.

But is also that hungry, never-satisfied imagination that turns so many of us into:

• artists,
• inventors,
• discoverers,
• builders, and
• creators of all stripes and types.

It is that hunger of imagination that drives the man with ADHD always onward in the lifelong search for something “commensurate to his capacity for wonder”.

Were our capacity for wonder not so great, were we not so predisposed to imagine greater than what ordinary life offers up, we would not be driven all but mad by our need to fill that capacity for wonder–to create the perfect song, or swing, or double helix, or arc, or love, or empire.  Had we punier, less intrusive imaginations, we could relax.  But because we can envision the ideal, because we can imagine perfect love, perfect symmetry, perfect prose, or perfect beauty of any kind, then we can never rest easy until we create it.

Which, of course, means we can never rest easy.

So, tell me, does this hell of an imagination create heaven, or hell?  Is it a blessing or a curse?  If you ask me, it’s both.  I have no choice but to live with it, allow it its shabby stall in my mind, feed it best as I can, and try to stay on the sane side of life as it works its way with me.

Watch Dr. Hallowell’s YouTube video on Tapping Into Your Imagination

If you wonder if you have ADHD, click here to learn about the symptoms of ADHD.

One of the bright and shining lights in the current dismal viral fog is the beam of human altruism.

During a crisis, and certainly during this crisis, the cynic might expect people to rush toward every-man-woman-for-himself-herself. And sure enough, the toilet-paper hoarders, the face mask price-gougers, the medication squirrellers, the hand sanitizer sudden-capitalists, the food marauders, and the rest who cannot share but prefer to profit at other people’s expense bear out the hypothesis that human nature acts only on self-interest, and that to believe otherwise is naïve if not downright stupid.

Until you meet the rest of humanity.

Until you meet my friend who works in an intensive care unit in Manhattan where he says, “I am 100% certain I will get the virus. I want it to happen soon so I can get it over with.” He is a doctor who could easily quit and immediately get a job in a low-risk area, rather than in his hospital which is the highest risk in the nation. But he chooses to stay.

“I’m no hero,” he said to me, when I told him he was one. A crusty cynic, he said, “Everything I am seeing supports my belief in how stupid most people are,” before launching into a story of how the chairman of his department, “who is way out of his league” sent out a memo that contained orders which, if followed, would put everyone’s life at risk. My friend shot back a note telling him he would quit immediately if the chairman did not retract that memo on the spot. Which he did.

So why does my friend lay his life on the line?

“I’m not falling on any hand grenade, believe me. I’m taking precautions, doing my best to make sure other people do, and then taking care of the patients who need help. There’s nothing noble about it. The situation sucks, that’s all.”

But there is something noble about it. No, noble is the wrong word. There is something human about it. Usually when we refer to something as human, we refer to a frailty, a shortcoming, a weakness. But I see in my friend a quality that I see in most people, an instinctual, natural altruism that emerges under stress. Rather than looking out for himself, my cynical friend who sees the weaknesses in humanity for sure, puts his own life in serious jeopardy by taking care of patients who need him desperately.

Why does he do this?

Why does he not protect himself and leave Manhattan? Why does he keep going into the hospital even though he is “100% certain” he will get infected?

Because he wants to. This is the part that’s so hard to believe until you see it. But we see it over and over again during crises. During 9/11. During Katrina. During fires every day around the country. During wars around the world.

Believe it, there is a streak of altruism, of love for others before love for self, that runs through human nature just as sure as there is a streak of selfishness.

Look around you these days. You will see it. Look into yourself. You will see it there, too.

Take heart from knowing that as bad as we all can be, we can just as much be good. Life-sacrificingly, life-savingly good. To love others, at least sometimes, more than you love yourself, that’s human, believe it or not.

____________________________________

In this Psychology Today interview, Why Does a Crisis Make Us Want to Connect and Be Kinder? Dr. Hallowell shares his views on why a crisis changes us.

If these times have you feeling anxious and worried, read Dr. Hallowell’s blog post on Managing These Uncertain Times and Figuring Out A System.

What is the secret ingredient to stoke your immune system during this stressful time, or DTST? (During This Stressful Time is a phrase we use so often now I think it deserves its own abbreviation, DTST.)

One of the best steps you can take is to bolster your immune system. It’s your body’s internal defense system. Combined with the inflammatory response, the immune response comes to our rescue every day, 24/7.

Well, DTST, we need our immune system to be in tip-top, best-possible fighting shape. This is obviously a premier, super high, gotta do it priority. Keeping your defenses up against invading microbes has never been more important.

But. . . how do you do it? 

You can probably guess some items on the list already. Eat lots of fruits and veggies. Get regular exercise and good sleep. Don’t smoke. Drink alcohol only in moderation. De-stress.

But there is one magic ingredient that usually doesn’t make the list. I call it a “secret” ingredient because, even though there is a ton of evidence to prove its value—in fact it may be more powerful than all those other steps—it might as well be secret because most people don’t use it nearly enough nor do they know about its titanic healing and life-prolonging powers.

Even better, this ingredient is free and infinite in supply. Plus, it’s fun to use! 

What is this magic factor that’s fun, free, infinite in supply, and incredibly good for you?

In its most concentrated form we call it love. As it spreads out, I call it connection. The force of connection—from love to friendship to a relationship with a song or a cause—the force of connection does us more good, and spares us more ill, than any single force in the universe.

Connection—to people, pets (I adore dogs, but if you’re a cat person, that’s fine), places, ideas, objets d’art, the past, certain activities—connection to anything or anyone you care deeply about, that force does you more good than you likely know. Far more good. It enriches and actually lengthens your life. It provides you with a special satisfaction, with what Aristotle called eudaimon, literally “good spirit”, but much richer than that short term can impart. Aristotle deemed eudaimon as the highest good for human beings, the deepest satisfaction and fulfillment, what Maslow would call self-actualization, the most harmonious and joyful state a person can achieve.

And it all depends upon connection.

Not focusing on yourself, but on the connections your self can make outside of yourself. These are the connections and this is the force that, among other benefits, strengthens your immune system big time.

Since it’s free, fun, good for you, and easy to find, use it. Get and give massive doses of it every day. Even in quarantine or isolation, you do not need to be disconnected or lonely. Being lonely is bad for you. But you can cure loneliness with a:

• phone call,
• book,
• piece of music,
• dog (the best!),
• email,
• text,
• trip down memory lane,
• daydream,
• fantasy

All you have to do is connect outside of yourself to anything, as long as you care deeply about it. Caring mildly is good too, just not as potent as caring deeply. Yes, the effect is dose-dependent, so if you want the really big bang for your connection buck, make it a connection you care deeply about.

This is the secret, the most magical ingredient we have to bolster immune function. 

And while you’re connecting, don’t forget the best foods*—citrus of all kinds; red bell peppers; Greek yogurt; almonds; broccoli; ginger; garlic’ turmeric; green tea; papaya; spinach; berries; as well as special mushrooms (all available in powder form on Wellevate or Amazon) like Reishi; Lions Mane; Turkey Tail (don’t you love these names?); and cordyceps; as well as shellfish, for the zinc.  And of course, exercise, meditate, pray, and sleep well.

But, above all, use copious amounts of the secret ingredient that should no more be secret DTST, connection. Connection, and its mother, love, drive the very best in life. The vast sea of connections beckons like a beautiful, infinite, shimmering pool. Jump in, have fun, and live long. And these days, stave off those nasty bugs with a super-charged immune system!

Warm wishes,

Edward (Ned) Hallowell, M.D.

If you want to learn more about living a connected life, read Dr. Hallowell’s book: Connect

or watch his YouTube video on The Power of Vitamin Connect

*Disclaimer: These foods may be helpful in building your immune system, but they DO NOT prevent or protect you from COVID-19.  Here is a link to the CDC guidelines on How to Protect yourself.

Dear Friends,

That’s what we’re all doing now in the corona era, isn’t it?, figuring out a system. Trying to take care of ourselves while making sure our loved ones are taking care of themselves or being well taken care of, wherever they may be. Applying for a loan. Asking landlords for temporary rent reduction. Trying to stay sane and not buy out the store on toilet paper.

Here’s my update from the front.

We’re all on the front, so no matter where you are or where I am, we’re all engaging on the front in this war against an enemy we can’t even see. We’re all trying to figure out a system that works for us and our group, whatever that group, team, family, business, or community may be.

How are you doing on your front? Are you home? Alone? With kids? With dog (I hope!)? I’m still coming into my office, but “seeing” all my patients via phone, face time, or Zoom. Pretty soon I will stop coming into the office altogether and work entirely from home once we figure out a system for how to manage the logistics of scheduling, writing prescriptions, communicating with each other, billing, and making what-if-this-happens contingency plans.

How about this freakin’ contingency? Was the corona virus on anyone’s list of contingencies to plan for last Thanksgiving? It’s like the old joke, How do you make God laugh? Tell him your plans.

Time to Give Thanks

But this is a time to thank God for lots of things, for the Internet, social media, the telephone, and television to name a few. As much as we complain about how these devices preoccupy our children and us, during this crisis they are true life-savers. One piece of advice though: do not over-dose on news. It can poison your system, not as badly as the virus, but it just is not good for you to O.D. on negative energy, which is what too much news does.

But we do need facts, hence some access to news is essential. Then, based on the news, we figure out a plan, a proverbial system.

Here are some tips on figuring out a plan:

• Consult with others.
• Be open to all suggestions.
• Get creative.
• Prioritize what matters most.

Financial Concerns

In terms of prioritizing, next to our health, the biggest worry most of us share is financial. Whatever out jobs might be, we’re all trying to figure this one out, not just for ourselves, but the people we care about as well as our businesses. My work as a writer can be done anywhere, thank goodness.

But my work as a doctor, and the work all the clinicians who work in my office do, depend upon contact with our patients. Fortunately, 90% of this contact can be gained off-site, remotely, so we’re “figuring out a system” for how to do that most efficiently, but also with the warmth we believe is so important in our work. Right now I am saying, Thank God for Zoom.

Always do what my mother and likely yours taught me and you and look for the blessings.

You are much more productive, useful, and energetic if you stoke up on positive energy. Yes, we are living in a crisis, facing potential disaster, the world temporarily falling into shambles. But we are not without power, resources, and wit. If we keep those wits about us, we will, every day, solve one problem after another and come up with, you got it, a system!

Your system will not appear instantly. It will evolve day by day, minute by minute. We’re forced to grope in the dark these days, bearing with the inner churning uncertainty creates, looking for whatever flashlights or matches we can find to light our way. But the lights are there, paltry though they may be, and every inch of progress we can make makes us feel better, more confident. And feeling more confident—whether the feeling matches up with reality or not—is a super-power these days.

Build Confidence and Maintain a Positive Attitude

Confidence—informed confidence, not ignorant bravado—works wonders in times of crisis and distress. Hand-wringing, moping, and foretelling doom is not only counterproductive, it is bad for you in myriad ways.

So, to build confidence and maintain a positive attitude in these ominous and upsetting times, try the following

• reach for each other, from a distance;
• stay in touch with your friends and people you love;
• call people often, just to buck each other up and hopefully laugh;
• bake a cake or cook up some goody you really like;
• remember, we’re all in this together;
• call whomever you call to get a loan or get food or inquire about a new
• mortgage now that rates are so low;
• find humor wherever you can; it’s impossible to worry and laugh at the same time
• start a new project you can do at home, like start that novel or memoir you’ve been meaning to write or at long last straighten up the basement or attic or both!;
• read entertaining books of all kinds;
• don’t read or watch upsetting stuff;
• watch your favorite movies on TV;
• try popcorn; it’s a good, low-cal comfort anti-anxiety food
• play with your dog if you’re lucky enough to have one; if you don’t, remember dogs you’ve known and loved, and if there aren’t any, get a box of Kleenex and read Old Yeller; or rent on Amazon to watch.
• most people are going to be kinder these days, believe it or not; try to be one of those
• lend a hand where you can; it is a proven fact that in giving we receive
• stay in touch

I can promise you, better days await. But, and I can promise you this as well, we can find hidden treasures and make unexpected gains during this time, especially if we buck each other up.

Warm regards,

Edward (Ned) Hallowell, M.D.

Resources

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Coronavirus: Myth vs. Fact

How the Hallowell Centers Can Help You: We are all concerned about safety with COVID-19, which is why The Hallowell Centers are closely monitoring the current situation regarding the coronavirus (COVID-19.) We will remain open, but all sessions will be conducted remotely.

Dear Clients,

Our staff at The Hallowell Center SFO  are concerned, just as you likely are, about the possible spread of the Covid-19 virus. We continue to closely monitor the situation regarding the coronavirus (COVID-19). We want to do all we can on our end to minimize and to slow the spread of the virus.

We are open to meet your needs, but all of the services will be provided remotely for the foreseeable future.

All of our clinicians are geared up to work with clients through virtual platforms, or even just the telephone, although having a visual does enhance the experience. Call our office to get instructions to set this up (it’s WAY simple if I can do it, believe me!) so we can remain connected and provide the hope and help we’re in the business of providing.

To reach our front desk for additional information or further assistance, please call 415-967-0061 or email  frontdesk@hallowellcenter.org.   If you wish to inquire about being a new patient, please see below.

We are here for you. Keep in touch.

Warm Regards,

Gabrielle Anderson, Ph.D.
Director of Psychology

and

Edward Hallowell, M.D., Founder
The Hallowell Center

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Dear Clients,

Our staff at The Hallowell Center Boston MetroWest  are concerned, just as you likely are, about the possible spread of the Covid-19 virus. We are closely monitoring the current situation regarding the coronavirus (COVID-19). We want to do all we can on our end to minimize and to slow the spread of the virus.

At this time, the Hallowell Center Boston MetroWest remains open to meet your needs. We are still doing TESTING in the office and following CDC safety guidelines to keep you safe. Now would be a good time to schedule Neuropsychological Testing for  your child.

A neuropsychological assessment can help you understand your child’s needs, how much progress he or she has made, and how best to help them learn and make progress over the next 4 months so they are ready for the new school year.

All other services will be provided remotely for the foreseeable future. All of our clinicians are geared up to work with clients through virtual platforms, or even just the telephone, although having a visual does enhance the experience.

Call our office to get instructions to set this up (it’s WAY simple if I can do it, believe me!) so we can remain connected and provide the hope and help we’re in the business of providing.

To reach our front desk to schedule an appointment, change an appointment or other information please call us, 978-287-0810.

You may also email them at @ hallowellreferralssudbury@gmail.com.

Prescriptions

If you need a prescription or prior authorization, please contact your clinician.

New Patients

If you wish to inquire about being a new patient and we are accepting new patients you can email hallowellreferralssudbury@gmail.com

To help achieve the shared goal of not getting sick, let us offer the following suggestions: 

• wash hands with soap and water for 20 seconds each time you come into a new space (or use Purell);
• notice when you touch your face, and wash your hands after doing so;
• cough or sneeze into your elbow;
• use tissues and throw them away right after using them; and
• avoid shaking hands or having other unnecessary physical contact.

If you do get sick, please call your primary care doctor for instructions before going to their office or to an urgent care or ER. If there is a real risk that you have COVID-19, they will order that test and direct you to a specialized testing site. This will protect you and others from unnecessary exposure.

We are here for you. Keep in touch.

Warm Regards,

Edward Hallowell, M.D., Founder
The Hallowell Center

P.S. Remember my motto, “Never worry alone.”

LINKS TO MISCELLANEOUS RESOURCES

Massachusetts Department of Public Health

Centers for Disease Control (CDC) guidelines.

World Health Organization

COVID-19 MENTAL HEALTH CHECK-IN

Your mental health is important during these uncertain times. In this week’s podcast, Dr. Hallowell checks-in regarding the Coronavirus pandemic, and reminds listeners of ways to deal with the stress and anxiety.

Listen NOW!

Working From Home? If you don’t want the Corona Virus to Infect Your Productivity, then CoreCoaching is the antidote! Learn more HERE.

Dr. Hallowell shares some basic facts about COVID-19 and practical advice on prevention and reducing anxiety in his podcast. LISTEN HERE!

Remember to stay safe, be careful and never worry alone!

How to talk to kids about the coronavirus, Hallowell Todaro blog post.

March 18, 2020

Dear Clients,

Yesterday, Ireland’s Prime Minster, Leo Varadkar, said, in his St. Patrick’s Day address, “Let us come together by staying apart.” Indeed.

To that end, during this crisis, we at the Hallowell Center NYC will remain open to meet your needs, but all of the services will be provided remotely for the foreseeable future.

All of our clinicians are geared up to work with clients through virtual platforms, or even just the telephone, although having a visual does enhance the experience. Call our office to get instructions to set this up (it’s WAY simple if I can do it, believe me!) so we can remain connected and provide the hope and help we’re in the business of providing.

To reach our front desk to schedule an appointment, change an appointment or other information please call us, 212-799-7777, and press “0.” Our front desk is monitoring voicemail during business hours.

You may also email them at frontdesk@hallowellcenter.org.

NOTE: During this time appointment confirmations will be exclusively by email.

Prescriptions

If you need a prescription or prior authorization you can press “6” or email Erica at pratt@hallowellcenter.org.

New Patients

If you wish to inquire about being a new patient and we are accepting new patients you can email Carey at carey@hallowellcenter.org.

We’re all in this together, so let’s indeed stay together, only off site.

And remember my motto, “Never worry alone.”

We are here for you. Keep in touch.

Warm Regards,

Edward Hallowell, M.D., Founder
Sue Hallowell, LICSW, Clinical Director
The Hallowell Center

LINKS TO MISCELLANEOUS RESOURCES